Okey dokey ladies, let’s get down to business (and yes, half of you are now singing the song from Mulan, you’re welcome btw). One of my major pet peeves is that the majority of individuals in the United States are not provided comprehensive sex education. What sex education should include is information not only about biology, reproduction, and STDs, but information about sexual pleasure, functioning, natural body quirks, social pressures, boundary setting, and so much more. Instead, you either get nothing or abstinence-only which is fraught with inaccuracies.
I have worked with a number of teens and young adult women who report feeling alone in regards to their bodies, who don’t feel like they are normal because they don’t know what is “normal” and what isn’t. Some of the information I provide here may not apply to your individual experience and that’s ok! Everybody is different and that’s the real message of sex education. Your body is unique, your quirks are unique, and you are fantastic no matter what society may tell you about your body, sexual orientation, gender orientation, or whatever label they try to stick onto you. Here are just some basic things I think you should know about your body that you probably didn’t learn in school. This will most likely not be the only time I address this topic, but this is a good start.
1. You are hairy. Hair will be everywhere. It’s up to you to decide how you want to deal with it, but the reality is, it’s everywhere and it just keeps on growing. There will be times where you have to pluck hair from your chin, your breasts, your belly button, or pretty much anywhere. You do NOT have to groom just because someone wants you to UNLESS that person is you. Be prepared, hair is coming.
2. Related to hair, should you decide that you want to give shaving a try, please, please, please be careful around your labia. Nothing is worse than shaving around your vagina and taking a slice out of your labia.
3. Also, speaking of the labia (a diagram has been included below for those who may not know what a labia is) be very careful not to pinch it when putting in or taking out a tampon if you have long nails. One of the major nail trends happening right now is stiletto nails and there is nothing worse than pinching your labia with sharp pointy fingernails.
4. Another thing no one tells you about is that weird sensation in your vagina after you’ve been on a bike for a while. Just like any other area of your body that has blood flowing through it, your vagina can fall asleep, and if you’ve ever had that tingling sensation in your foot when it starts to wake up, just imagine how odd that feels in your vagina. Again, completely normal.
5. Your bladder is small. That’s it. Whenever you get slack from a guy for having to pee all the time, just remind whoever made the smartass comment that your organ is smaller than theirs, just like their brain compared to yours.
6. Sometimes things can get stuck up there. Yes, this is a thing that happens and no, I’m not talking about a magic trick of losing things in your vagina. I’m talking about situations where your pelvic muscles may have tightened and something that was inserted may have gotten stuck momentarily. Examples of this include diaphragms, tampons, nuva rings, diva cups, small vibrators, and condoms. You can use your pelvic muscles to try to push the items out, but sometimes you’re gonna have to go fishing to get the item out. Just be careful of nails!
7. Your vagina talks. Again, not a magic trick, although you probably could make it a magic trick. Your vagina is a hollow entry and sometimes air goes into it. During times of vaginal penetration where air is being forced in and out of the vagina it’s going to make sounds. IT’S NORMAL!!!
8. For those women who are engaging in vaginal sex with men where there is ejaculation into your vagina, something no one has probably told you is that you will leak. Yes, there will be leakage after the big O inside of you for a little while after even if you use your kegel muscles to push the fluid out. Word of advice, do not wear super adorable undies the day immediately after ejaculation, they will be leaked on.
9. Do not get seminal fluid in your eye. I had someone describe it to me as one of the worst burning sensations they experienced, which ultimately lead to an eye infection. A major trend in pornography now is a “facial,” which has transcended to real life sex practices. Unfortunately, this significantly increases your chances of a bullseye (literally), which is no bueno.
10. Your body is truly amazing! You don’t learn in sex education that your body is truly sensational. It can have multiple orgasms, hike mountains, traverse oceans, create human beings; it can do anything. There is no right or wrong way to have a female body, there is only your way.
If you would like more information about anything I discussed in this post, feel free to reach out to me via email at jnspsychology@gmail.com. I hope you took something from this even if it was just a giggle or two.